A Simple (and Humorous) Guide to Ascension

Holy cow was this full moon intense.

And the solar flares that proceeded it too.

In fact, now that it's all behind me I can feel how incredibly strange the energies were. I can see that I was more “there” than “here” for the 10 days or so leading up to the full moon, whatever that means.

My guides took me deeper into the multiverse than ever before. And as I started sharing about it a little bit on my last blog post and on Instagram I started getting a bunch of messages.

Share more of this! Everyone was saying.

And then my guides said the same.

Because there's tons of information on the internet about ascension and the multiverse but much of it is even more confusing than the experiences we're having.

Make it simple, everyone said (including my guides).

So here it is….my “simple” explanation of ascension and WTH is going on in the universe right now.

Because one of the stranger things that happened to me in the past month is that my husband and I got in a legitimate argument in the middle of the night one night.

I was laying in bed, completely awake and contemplating some idea about what happens to us during the time of our lives called our “Saturn Return”.

Now, what's strange about this is that I'm not into astrology at all. I didn't actually know what Saturn Return was and had to look it up the next day.

In case you're wondering, every 30ish years, Saturn returns to the place it was in your birth chart when you were born, shows you all of your fears and blocks and more or less forces you to push through them.

It's like spiritual boot camp to figure out who you are and what the next 30 years of your life will be about. If you're over the age of 30 (or 60), you can totally relate.

So where this idea came from and why I was contemplating it in the middle of the night is a mystery.

However, while I was having this esoteric think tank with myself, my husband got out of bed.

I know this because I was awake.

So I asked him where he was going and he said he was going to sleep in the other room because I was snoring so loudly.


I was definitely NOT snoring. I was laying there. Completely awake. Contemplating what happens during your Saturn Return.

And I said so.

Then he got mad at me for insinuating that he was lying and I got mad at him for thinking that I would somehow not know that I was wide awake. Especially since I was conscious of the fact that he had gotten up out of bed.

I spent the next few days thinking about it. Because seriously….we were both adamant that we were right.

And then it dawned on me…

Both things were true.

I WAS awake. And I was also asleep and snoring. In the same place, at the same time.

And while I've often experienced traveling to other dimensions in my sleep, I've never quite had this experience (that I recall anyway).

It was like step one in my guides turning the dial up to 10 to start experiencing different dimensions all blending together in my waking life. Things started to get real weird after this.

But let's set aside the stories and talk about what exactly is happening and why I (and probably you too) are having these experiences right now. It's called Ascension.

So what is ascension?

In simple terms, it's each individual person on Earth choosing to step into higher consciousness. To remember that we are actually a spark of source energy experiencing a human life on this planet.

Ascension is choosing to actively participate in human evolution.

And the first step in ascension is actually awakening to this idea at all.

You'll often hear people in spiritual circles talk about people being “awake” or “asleep” and this is what they mean.

Once you realize there's a whole lot more going on than just what you can see in the physical realms and begin your journey to align with your higher self, you've awakened. Congratulations!

Things are about to get a whole lot more confusing from here on out.

I joke.

But really….they probably are.

Because this is the point when you realize everything you've been taught your entire life may not completely be true.

And depending on how attached you are to the idea that time is linear or reincarnation doesn't exist (and a whole host of other realities headed your way), will inform how soul rattling this experience will be for you at the beginning.

You're probably going to have to get used to the idea that you'll have to change your mind about some things you were certain were true. To be quite honest, I think this part of the process is necessary to help us understand that our reality is fluid in the first place.

But anyhow, once you're awake, you're on the path to ascension.

Unlike much of what we may have learned growing up, there is not a specific day or time in which we will collectively ascend. There is no other entity coming from heaven or another planet or another universe who will show up on Earth and tell us that it's time and decide who goes and who stays.

Ascension is an individual journey for each person on their own timeline. But also for the collective.

Yep, that's right. It's a personal path we're also on as a group.

See?? I'm already asking you to believe two opposite things are true at the same time.

Because they are.

Each person that chooses to ascend raises the collective vibration, thereby waking more people up and further increasing the collective frequency of the earth.

So, you doing your personal healing work really does help everyone (more on that later).

For all of the doomsday prophecies about December 12, 2012, it really was the end of the world as we knew it, and the beginning of a new one. On that day, the Earth (a conscious being in its own right) evolved into a new dimension.

Also known as 5D.

We have lived in a 3D reality here on earth for thousands of years. It's the lowest, densest vibration that can also sustain life on this planet. And for any number of possible reasons that you can find explained all over the internet and in countless books, we have needed to collectively live through and evolve in this lower reality.

In 3D reality, we believed in linear time, were not able to perceive other dimensions, and haven't had the ability to remember past lives, experiences in other dimensions or our divine connection to the universe.

But as of 12/12/12, another reality (or dimension) is now available for us to ascend to. We don't have to “go” anywhere to experience it, it's layered right on top of the one we were already living in. Which can feel a little confusing sometimes.

In fact, if you've been “awake” for awhile, you may experience this on a regular basis.

You will weave in and out of 3D and 5D reality.

Have to go to the hospital or doctor's office? Highly likely you'll be in 3D. Honestly, I find that many of our ingrained “institutions” in our culture are still vibrating in 3D reality.

Be conscious if there are places you have to go or interact with where you notice yourself purposely lowering your vibration in order to function or be understood when talking to people there. And then you'll be much more aware of the split in realities.

Or if you have the experience where you start to wonder if you're somehow invisible… cars merging into you in traffic, people bumping your shopping cart in the grocery store or stepping in front of you in line like YOU'RE NOT EVEN THERE…

It's because they legitimately can't see you.

The higher we're able to raise our personal frequency or vibration, the more we align with 5D (and higher) reality.

Yep. This is the same reason why we can't see Bigfoot or aliens that might be standing RIGHT THERE in front of us. Because they're vibrating at a much higher frequency and are aligned with another dimension that we're not in.

But that dimension still exists here on Earth. Just layered on top of the one(s) we're living in.

Are you still with me?


So since we're already talking about weird things like Bigfoot and aliens, let's get that subject out of the way. If you don't already believe in “mythical” creatures, this is one of the things about ascension that will make your head explode.

Because yes, there's a whole lot more that exists outside of 3D Earth reality. You may have already been seeing them in your mind's eye during meditation or shamanic journeys or dreams.

That's because you're literally stepping into another dimension, or consciousness, when you're in those liminal states. You're going to the dimensions where they DO exist.

That is how you travel to other dimensions. It is actually that simple. And I think the more we experience that with 3D/5D happening in the same place at the same time, the easier it is for us to understand that we don't need some fancy time machine to get to another dimension.

We just need our minds.

But what about our bodies?

Why do we even have them if we don't need them to have these experiences?

Ah, but we do!

The actual purpose and work of ascension is to embody your higher self, your light body and your consciousness into your physical body to wake up and remember your divine nature. To help lift the veil that is 3D and see the world as it really is.

And since we are having this collective experience with the Earth itself, co-creating this new, higher reality, we help the Earth continue to ascend as well.

I have been hearing a message repeatedly for much of this year explaining how our physical bodies (or light bodies) are needed to bring heaven to earth, or to create this new Earth reality. This other version of Earth already exists, we just have to choose the new reality rather than the old 3D reality that's slowly dying out.

Because we do have a choice.

And some people are going to choose to stay behind. Or leave altogether.

At some point in the future, 3D reality will no longer be a reality at all. Everyone will have either chosen to ascend, or chosen not to and as they die and leave that Earth reality, it won't be repopulated.

No judgement needed on anyone else's personal journey.

They're choosing it for a reason and if they are meant to wake up through this collective ascension process, they will feel the vibration and wake up.

If not, they may be choosing to leave at this point in time and come back in another incarnation to experience ascension at that time.

So okay…

What happens to our bodies during ascension?

The short story is….a whole lot! And yes, you're going to feel it.

To add another layer of complexity to this situation, our sun is also ascending and we've been experiencing a flood of upgraded “light codes” pouring into the Earth. These codes trigger or activate our dormant (or junk) DNA, which we need to ascend to 5D and higher consciousness.

Our bodies aren't accustomed to all of this light and we're experiencing physical changes as additional strands of DNA start lighting up and attempt to hold this new information or light in our physical bodies.

It order to hold this light and the higher vibration needed on the new Earth / 5D reality, we've got to clear the lower density stuff out of our bodies.

Old patterns, beliefs and habits have got to go to physically embody your higher self. Think of it as clearing out half of the dresser drawers for your super enlightened BFF to move in.

That means you have to do your own personal healing work, whatever that is for you.

It's time to release the fears and blockages holding you back.

Any emotional pain or energetic imbalances, especially as they relate to karmic, genetic or ancestral lineage need to be untangled and released.

Find a mentor or healer who can work together with you. Or a doctor you trust, depending on what healing is needed.

I will pause here to say that you are really going to have to learn to trust your intuition through the ascension process. Not everyone you talk to will understand the depth of the experience you're currently having.

You'll need to be wary of doctors who simply want to prescribe your symptoms away, but also be aware that it's possible you could need some medical intervention, depending on what you're specifically healing.

And you might need both.

I have experienced multiple physical issues that have come to the surface for healing over the past decade or so that ultimately needed both energetic and physical healing.

Don't be afraid to seek assistance on both levels. And again, trust your gut. You are the expert on your own mind and body.

So what kind of ascension related symptoms might you experience?

I've experienced most of the “ascension flu” ones like headaches and body aches, fatigue, nausea, and dizziness. But also the sensation of the body heating up, tingling sensations, ringing in the ears, or having a distinct awareness of a body part or organ that you didn't used to notice.

But you may also become aware of other dimensions, have the ability to interact with people or animals that have passed on or the awareness to communicate with nature in general (hello!) or extraterrestrials.

Over the years, I've also had a lot of experiences with time just….changing.

Speeding up or slowing down. Or like I'm moving at a different speed than the rest of the world. Or like I can control time altogether. It's a fun game once you start playing with it.

Once you're aware of and understand ascension, you can adjust your awareness and it won't feel quite so overwhelming or scary.

But your higher self has already stepped in and initiated this process for you. So you're going to feel the demands to continue releasing lower-vibe stuff from your life.

Negative TV or movies, negative people, negative jobs or situations, basically anything that doesn't align with your ability to get to the next level of consciousness will start vibrating out of your life. Don't fight it. Let it go.

We have a whole spiritual support crew to help us through this transition, but also listen to your body who may be feeling a little beat up at times.

Do you need a nap? A massage? More water? Some reiki? Healthier food? A walk?

Taking care of our physical bodies as our DNA awakens and changes is key to the embodiment process.

As much as we may want to, we can't escape our bodies through ascension. We actually need to integrate with them even deeper.

And become aware of the fact that our physical body and our light body is the same thing.

Meditation and spending time tuning into your Higher Self is also critical through this experience.

It feels to me like we've reached some kind of accelerated timeline at the moment where the number of people currently awake and experiencing ascension has passed some tipping point that's causing everything else to speed up.

Personally, I feel like I've gone from the veil thinning to the veil being ripped away over the course of this summer. Whether that's the result of reaching a certain threshold in my own, personal healing and ascension process or a collective up-leveling I'm not sure.

It's probably both.

So if you're suddenly experiencing the dimensions bleeding together much more than they were or are now easily seeing the old, icky, dark energy still hanging around people and places that was hidden in plain sight before, now is our opportunity to help clear it out.

The Earth is ready, and every little bit we do helps us and the collective ascend to the beautiful new version of itself that it already is.

P.S. Speaking of playing with time, I set an intention when I started writing this post that I needed to finish it by noon. When I typed the last word, the clocked flipped to 12:00. So there you go…have fun with time games, especially when you think you're short on time.

Much of the information online about ascension is as confusing as the experiences you're having in the first place. So click through to read all about ascension in plain terms, but with a few amusing stories from my own ascension experiences!